he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
