I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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