You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
