Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
