The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
