I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
