I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
