i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
