Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
