You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
