i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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