This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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