I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I forgot how hot balto sounded
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
