You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
