Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize