Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize