hell yes lets make some ravioli
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Still dying that you shit outside
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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