You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
