I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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