And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
