OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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