I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I love having hate sex.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
