goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
