If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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