Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
