y did u give ur computer a hand job?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
should my penis look like a turkey
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
