You really coming over, don't trick.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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