I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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