We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
