i was born a porn star she said
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just found puke in my bra..
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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