it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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