I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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