I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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