Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
