I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
