weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
