Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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