I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
