I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
