based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
