I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
