Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
