When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
