People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
