life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
