yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
