I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
