He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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