My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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