Girls should come with a carfax report
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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