Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
