I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
