I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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