so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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