cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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