oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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