Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
