would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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