I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I have already put on my inside pants.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
