Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
