the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
